In Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT), the magic is in the COACHING
Have you ever struggled with a subject in school? You sit there, you listen to your teacher, and you think you get it. Yes, you’re sure you get it! You know it now! And then you sit down to actually do it at home, and you realize…no. You’re still confused. Why can’t you make your answer match the answer in the book? What seemed so obvious in the classroom is impossible to repeat alone.
For me, this was algebra. In class, the solutions were obvious and made perfect sense. But I got stuck whenever I had to do it alone. I couldn’t repeat what I’d learned. Do you know what helped? A math tutor. Having someone sit there, watch me work on the problem, and notice in real time where I was making the mistake was worth hours of sitting by myself, struggling. With a little bit of coaching, I mastered that challenging unit in Algebra and was able to do well on the test.
Would it shock you to know that real-time coaching during parenting has similar effects? You can sit there while someone describes strategies that should work with your child, but then, when you’re alone in the parenting situation, you can’t figure out what to actually do. Your child is not behaving exactly as the therapist described, your own emotions are getting triggered, and you can’t even remember the suggestions you just learned.
This is why Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT) incorporates parent coaching as a key feature of the treatment. Most parenting treatments don’t focus on real-time coaching, but PCIT relies on it! Of course, we meet with you individually and teach you the parenting skills needed for each phase of PCIT. However, we don’t expect you to apply them perfectly alone.
PCIT is set up to allow us to observe and help. We’ll set you up with a device to observe your interaction and provide live support via an AirPod during play. Then, at the beginning of each coaching session, we watch you play with your child and use the strategies on your own. Then, based on our observation, we tailor a plan just for you and start jumping in to make things better.
Is your child sharing a toy with you? We notice, and we encourage you to use a praise skill to reinforce it! Is your child calling you a name? We help you calm down and turn your attention away from it. Did your child suddenly run out of the room? We’re here to problem-solve!
At first, parents tell us that it’s awkward to be watched while they play. However, everyone will agree that the coaching is helpful. With a little bit of strategic and well-timed advice, you learn when and how to jump in with a PCIT skill to make play fun for both of you, help your child cope with their feelings, and respond to positive and negative behaviors. We believe that coaching is the reason that PCIT works so quickly! Often, only 12 to 16 sessions are necessary for challenging behaviors to go away.
Another analogy? It’s like going to the gym with a personal trainer instead of an app! With an app, you may theoretically know what to do, but you could still mess up your form, and no one would correct it. The app also isn’t personalized to you to account for your knee surgery three years ago or work with your personal goal to improve endurance. A personal trainer knows your history, your goals, and helps you use the right form to see the fastest gains.