PCIT vs Play Therapy: Why PCIT is the Answer for Challenging Behaviors
And How to Stop Hiding in the Bathroom
Tantrums, name-calling, hitting, not listening…it’s enough to make you want to hide in the bathroom and never come out. Who knew that such a little person could disrupt your home and work life THIS much? When your child is struggling with challenging behaviors, you become desperate. Something must change. You read some books, listen to a podcast, scroll through Instagram and TikTok, ask all of your friends, and even talk to the school. You get the same answer over and over again: put them in play therapy.
“Play therapy sounds great!” you think. “I’ll drop them off, the therapist will teach them how to manage their Big Feelings, and they’ll start listening at home! No more calls from daycare!”
But it doesn’t work.
Your child still isn’t listening, you still feel helpless, and the school is still calling during work meetings about “hitting Our Friends.” Hiding in the bathroom is becoming more and more appealing.
So…what now? Why didn’t play therapy help, and what will help instead?
The answer is simple: if you want to see changes in your child’s behavior, you need to make strategic changes in your parenting.
This isn’t because you’re a “bad parent” or doing something “wrong”: your child did not come with a manual, and some kids require some specialized parenting skills to support change. No matter how wonderful your play therapist was, YOU were not changing YOUR approach to your child, so we should not expect a change in your child’s behavior. At PCIT Experts, it’s pretty common for us to work with children who have spent years (yes, years) in play therapy with no progress to show for it.
So what’s different about Parent-Child Interaction Therapy (PCIT)? What can PCIT do that play therapy can’t?
Again, the answer is simple, and it’s in the name of the treatment. PCIT is treatment for the parent-child interaction, your relationship, and the way that you are encouraging and supporting certain behaviors, whether you mean to or not. In PCIT, our focus is on giving you practical tools and supporting you while you make changes to your parenting that directly affect your child. You are the most important influence in your child’s life, and your actions play an essential role in the way that your child behaves.
So, what do we do?
In the first phase of PCIT, we teach you (yes, YOU) play therapy skills to use on a daily basis with your child! Learning and using these evidence-based skills helps you to build a stronger foundation to encourage positive behaviors and discourage tantrums or problem behaviors. Your parenting skills and your confidence grow rapidly. We make sure that you’re good at using your skills, too! We watch you play with your child and coach you through an AirPod so that you know how to handle tricky situations in real time.
Once you become an Expert Play Therapist, we’ll teach you strategies for giving effective directions and following through if your child won’t listen. Some parents won’t need to learn discipline skills, but learning how to set limits without yelling or lecturing is a game-changer for many.
So how do we know that this is really working?
Every week, we have you fill out forms to track your child’s behavior and make sure that the strategies are actually working. You won’t have to wonder, “Is this working?” Not only will you notice the changes at home, but you can see a graph to reassure you! Most families graduate from PCIT in 12-16 sessions (3 to 4 months) and report no significant behavior problems following treatment. We can’t promise anything in the therapy world, but with 40 years of research and hundreds of cases worth of personal experience, our PCIT Experts agree that parents who commit to practicing PCIT skills see incredible progress in a short period of time.
And the best part? Instead of wanting to hide in the bathroom, you want to play with your child. And that’s what actually matters in the end.